#1 Go Skydiving ~Jill Smolinski

I recently read a book about a young woman who was trying to complete a dead woman’s list of 20 things to do before her 25th birthday. The tasks ranged from simple things (wearing sexy shoes) to extremely difficult ventures (change someone’s life). As the older woman raced to complete the list by the deadline, her entire outlook drastically changed. By the end of the story, she decided to compile her own list of things to do within the span of her lifetime. To set goals and at times make a conscious effort to throw caution to the wind. To take a risk…put herself out there in ways that she had not previously done.

What originally drew me to this piece of fiction is that I, myself, have composed a list of things I wish to do/accomplish in my lifetime. The top of the piece of paper bears the words "Things To Do Before I Die." Examples of things from my list (some completed and some not): travel to all 50 states, do something completely uncharacteristic, stand on the steps of the US Supreme Court, see the Eiffel Tower, go on a cruise, own a house, and graduate from college. While some make think it is corny to have such a list, I personally think it is a good idea. By having these things written down, you are able to refer to your list when various opportunities arise. If you are teetering on whether to take an opportunity, sometimes a goal on your list will spur you to take the chance—to plunge into the unknown. Also, as you complete tasks you are able to cross them off and have a visual reminder of what you are striving for. A reminder of the things you want to accomplish, to experience, to have. While it may seem absurd, if you are struggling to find a purpose, a list of things to do gives you a purpose.

I created my list well over a decade ago. Through the years, very little about it has changed. I have only added a few items and deleted one from the original list. While a number of things have been accomplished, there still remains a large number of things to do. However, when I begin to feel as though I’m simply floundering in life, I pull out the list and see the things I have completed boldly marked off. This sight comforts me. I think the same can be true for anyone who creates such a to-do list.

I encourage everyone to compile a list of goals/experiences they wish to have in a period of time. It can be like the book with a specific deadline such as a birthday or a lifetime list like I created a decade ago. I do recommend having various stages of difficult on your list. That way you will be able to see gradual progress. Really difficult tasks will take time to happen. It is much easier to work on those over time while you complete a small goal here and there in the interim. So look deep into your desires world and start making those lists!

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea. ~E.E. Cummings

As the waves commit their rhythmic assault on the sand, I sit in my beach chair pondering over the journey each wave has made. I look out to the horizon and wonder of the beyond; somewhere in Europe is there a girl looking towards me wondering the same. Little children play within the waters without a care in the world except escaping the next crashing wave. The sights and sounds of the beach make it an easy getaway. As the waves roll back to the sea, so do your worries. It’s common place to close your eyes and let the waves carry you away. Reality awaits you just beyond the dunes. But this oasis will sit unchanged waiting for your joyful return. The waves will still hammer the shore, seagulls will continue to fly overhead, and the sand will continue to lay quiet with the anticipation of your relaxation. Oh, how I yearn to stay in this paradise; tucked away from the haste of the world. Alas, it is nothing more than a silent hope; a dream. We must all return to reality. We must return to the unrelenting world until it is time again to feel the sand between our toes. Many leave the beach with hesitation; worried their memories will not sustain them until the next visit. For me the beach is my escape. When the world shows its cruel face, I shall simply close my eyes and remember. Allow myself to be transported away. Remember the soft sea breeze through my hair, the warm sun on my face, the smell of salt tickling my nose, and the glorious sound of the waves assaulting the shore; such a sweet homecoming.

“I am impossible to forget but hard to remember.” ~Elizabethtown

Memories. It’s astounding what the human mind remembers and what it forgets over time. What makes us catalog every minute detail of an event while other experiences we can not begin to recall specifics? This must be one of the great mysteries to which scientists are working to uncover an answer. But will we ever truly be able to fully understand the processes of the mind and memory? And if we are able to ascertain such answers, what then? Would we be able to further manipulate individual’s memories? Allow them to remember some parts of an event while erasing other aspects? Or would such a discovery simply be used in a pure science form where the only implication is the rewriting of textbooks?

It is safe to assume that every person has individuals they wish they could extract from their memory. However, what we often forget until it is too late is once you allow someone to enter your life they will never leave you. They will remain burned into your subconscious forever particularly if you share a meaningful experience with such a person. The first time wanting to say/saying/meaning "I love you" to someone. The first awkward/botched kiss. The first time staying up until the early hours of the morning just talking. The first time spending the night with someone. The first time falling asleep in a man’s arms and waking up to see the slight tug of a content smile on his lips.

As of late, I have been plagued with memories of various people and events. There are some memories which I wish I could remember the event without remembering the person and vice versa. Of course, there are those people and event combinations which I wish to play over and over again in my head as they comfort me. They allow me to escape my surroundings and to live in my head for a brief period. Unfortunately, I have little to no control over what memory will drift across my subconscious at a particular moment in time—whether it will be a recollection which will invoke conflicting emotions or a memory which will provide escape. Perhaps, with time, all of our memories will reach a place where they will provide escape.—where we can remember every aspect of an event and/or person without feeling a sharp jerk on our hearts or a negative emotion. Perhaps, in time, we reach a point where we no longer wish to extract people or events from our thoughts. But naturally that begs the question: how much time must pass for that to happen?

"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none." ~Shakespeare

Such a statement to live by seems so impossible. If humans could actually act in this manner, would we reach some utopian like society? Surely by loving all and doing wrong to none, the crimes against our brethren would cease to occur. But are humans actually capable of doing this? Are we capable of loving all and doing wrong to none? Or is it inherent in our genetic make up to act out against those who have wronged us? Is it instinctual for humans to seek out vengeance? To not turn the other cheek upon being struck but rather to seek an eye for an eye.

I would like to believe that it is possible for mankind to move toward loving all and doing wrong to none. However, if this has been the goal since the creation of man, it has become apparent that we are incredibly slow learners. Our bodies have managed to evolve while our spirits remain stunted in growth. For millions of years, humans have performed wrongs against one another as well as nature. And what have such actions gotten us? Nothing. So why don’t we try a new approach? Because we are slow learners. We like to think ourselves impervious to the destruction we create around us but it catches up with us. Our wrong deeds to the planet are quickly catching up to us. Just as individual wrong deeds toward others will multiple tenfold and boomerang to the individual which originated such actions.

In the last few weeks, I have been thinking a great deal about this quote. I realize that while I consider myself to be a good person, I have had my moments where I have strayed. I have strayed from turning the other cheek and I, myself, have sought vengeance for what I perceived to be wrong doings against me. However, I really would like to aim to "love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." I currently do have a handful of people that I trust implicitly. Like a pendulum when meeting someone new, I generally oscillate between trusting no one and being very trusting. I’ve often referred to myself as being a realist but optimist. I like to believe people are generally good and can be trusted. However, at the same time, I realize evil is out there and certain individuals are likely to take advantage of a trusting nature. Unfortunately, these people do not reside out in the open. They do not have a scarlet letter blistered into their foreheads. Instead, they are wolves in sheep’s clothing. For these people, our animal instincts are needed to protect us—as those individuals are surely not willing to practice loving all and doing wrong to none. However, while our animal instincts are needed to warn us of approaching predators, we must silence those same instincts should we fail to protect ourselves and are wronged. For those wolves will eventually be rewarded for their actions but vengeance does not need to be sought by our own hands.

I hope to begin to live in such a manner. I want to love all, trust a few and do wrong to none. While I’m uncertain if I will be able to succeed 100 percent of the time, I believe such a goal is worth striving toward. I also believe that should I be able to reach this goal, I will be more at peace with myself and the world around me than ever before.