As a new year is rapidly approaching, I have spent a great deal of time pondering the events which have manifested into my life. The friend lost, the love gained, the impulsive action, the meticulously crafted plan. As I cross off another goal from my ‘Life’s To Do List’, I cannot help but wonder about the year to come and whether I am ready for another gamble of what a year may bring. While the exiting year brought many wonderful events, I realize in the closing months of 2010 I have become rather myopic in my actions. I dream extravagant ideas about places to go and things to do while in the present real world I find myself participating in activities for a short sighted pleasure rather than considering the potential repercussions. When did I become that person? I wonder if the reason I am acting in such a manner now is because I failed to explore such frivolities when I was younger.
Like the majority of the world’s population, I find myself trapped between the person I am and the person I wish to be. In some aspects, I despise the girl I once was while I love the woman I have become. However, in the same token, I cherish my childhood self and loathe the woman I have become. Perhaps, my New Year’s resolution should be to find a way to reconcile the two individuals. Cling to the endearing childish qualities while dispelling the appalling adult behaviors. While this New Year’s pledge has nothing to do with losing weight, quitting smoking or drinking, or any other such stereotypical resolution, I believe this is the most important and most difficult undertaking a person can task themselves with; an introspective inventory. Certainly at times, an inward analysis can and will be painful. However, it is also destined to be uplifting and inspirational. We have all survived various trials and those triumphs will lift our spirits while we examine the less savory characteristics/actions.
A new year is divinely designed for reinvention. Whether it is personal or professional, January 1st is the perfect time to cast off our pedestrian selves and embrace the people we are meant to be. For some of us, this may call for a more cerebral existence. For others, it may require a more emotional approach to life. I am unsure which road is appropriate for me to take in merging my two selves into one complete person.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
"If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find." ~John Churton Collins
We all hide aspects of our lives from those around us. Through shielding these secrets, the people we come in contact with gain a false impression of the type of individual we are. For instance, I once heard someone refer to my life as being “perfect.” Naturally, just as every other person on the planet, my life is a far cry from perfect. To an outside observer, we all can seem so “normal” or even unrealistically “perfect.” But if we were to truly know each other’s secrets, we would realize that person ‘X’ does not have it better than us as they have their own assortment of problems and person ‘Y’ is not so different from us because they too struggle with the same type of secret.
We all are guilty of looking at someone and wishing we could switch places with them. Also, we all have a particular side to our lives we keep buried, under lock and key, and continually pray will never find a speck of sunlight for fear of being harshly judged by those in the outside world. What would happen if we stopped guarding these secrets but revealed them? The mere contemplation of such a thing is both liberating and terrifying. Would we finally breathe a sigh of relief upon learning the person we thought was “perfect” has an addiction problem? Or that they had an affair with a married individual? Or that they have terrible relationships with family members? Or that their last relationship resulted in their heart being ripped from their chest? Would that make us breathe easier?
Sadly, I believe it would allow us to experience a level of relaxation that few, if any, of us have previously had. Because in learning the secrets of those around us, we, too, would be able to relinquish the reins on our own. We would realize that our own problems or secrets are not uncommon within the rest of society. We could stop feeling as though we are alone on a heavily populated planet. We could find peace in ourselves. We could find comfort.
We all are guilty of looking at someone and wishing we could switch places with them. Also, we all have a particular side to our lives we keep buried, under lock and key, and continually pray will never find a speck of sunlight for fear of being harshly judged by those in the outside world. What would happen if we stopped guarding these secrets but revealed them? The mere contemplation of such a thing is both liberating and terrifying. Would we finally breathe a sigh of relief upon learning the person we thought was “perfect” has an addiction problem? Or that they had an affair with a married individual? Or that they have terrible relationships with family members? Or that their last relationship resulted in their heart being ripped from their chest? Would that make us breathe easier?
Sadly, I believe it would allow us to experience a level of relaxation that few, if any, of us have previously had. Because in learning the secrets of those around us, we, too, would be able to relinquish the reins on our own. We would realize that our own problems or secrets are not uncommon within the rest of society. We could stop feeling as though we are alone on a heavily populated planet. We could find peace in ourselves. We could find comfort.
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