Thursday, December 30, 2010

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." ~George Bernard Shaw

As a new year is rapidly approaching, I have spent a great deal of time pondering the events which have manifested into my life. The friend lost, the love gained, the impulsive action, the meticulously crafted plan. As I cross off another goal from my ‘Life’s To Do List’, I cannot help but wonder about the year to come and whether I am ready for another gamble of what a year may bring. While the exiting year brought many wonderful events, I realize in the closing months of 2010 I have become rather myopic in my actions. I dream extravagant ideas about places to go and things to do while in the present real world I find myself participating in activities for a short sighted pleasure rather than considering the potential repercussions. When did I become that person? I wonder if the reason I am acting in such a manner now is because I failed to explore such frivolities when I was younger.

Like the majority of the world’s population, I find myself trapped between the person I am and the person I wish to be. In some aspects, I despise the girl I once was while I love the woman I have become. However, in the same token, I cherish my childhood self and loathe the woman I have become. Perhaps, my New Year’s resolution should be to find a way to reconcile the two individuals. Cling to the endearing childish qualities while dispelling the appalling adult behaviors. While this New Year’s pledge has nothing to do with losing weight, quitting smoking or drinking, or any other such stereotypical resolution, I believe this is the most important and most difficult undertaking a person can task themselves with; an introspective inventory. Certainly at times, an inward analysis can and will be painful. However, it is also destined to be uplifting and inspirational. We have all survived various trials and those triumphs will lift our spirits while we examine the less savory characteristics/actions.

A new year is divinely designed for reinvention. Whether it is personal or professional, January 1st is the perfect time to cast off our pedestrian selves and embrace the people we are meant to be. For some of us, this may call for a more cerebral existence. For others, it may require a more emotional approach to life. I am unsure which road is appropriate for me to take in merging my two selves into one complete person.

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